Amazing Racing with Hendo.

One of the best times I've had in recent memory was dinner with Hendo on Sunday night. He grilled the biggest steak that I've seen in years. Add to that a nice small salad and the twice-baked potatoes and I was in heaven. The perfect cure for the crushing hangover that he gave me, the night before.

The food was great, but even more fun was watching "The Amazing Race Allstars" with him and both of us being on the "Fuck Charla and Mirna" band-wagon. I already hated those bitches and Hendo remembered them from a previous season, where he hated them too. So, we discovered our mutual revulsion for those two idiot princesses.

When Charla said, "This lady who was driving us to a location was like an angel. Sent from God in Heaven", Hendo yelled, "Oh, COME ON!"

And when Charla kept pressing the screen on her GPS device and the accompanying marine kept saying, "I told you not to touch the screen, maam.", we were rolling.

Hendo loved "Oh my god, the Teletubbies go to war!" So did I.

I volunteered that I couldn't have sex either of them, if I were paid to.

And we both yelled, "We fucking hate you!" and "Shut up, you stupid, stupid bitch" whenever Mirna would open her mouth about anything. And that ignorant, ignorant woman did plenty of talking in that episode.

Witness Mirna's insistent habit of trying to talk to foreign cab-drivers in a dialect similar to what she thinks that they sound like. Except EVERY ONE of her accents are all Mexican. (sort of). Just terrible.

Observe Mirna's insistence on berating and screaming at her dwarven teammate to "Hurry up, Charla!" and "We're going to be last, Charla!" Mirna talks about how being on this show empowers Charla and shows that she can do everything a "tall person" can do, but she's oblivious to how much she frets about and harasses Charla for having the limitations that a "small person" naturally has. Charla's great for kicking down doors, but not so good at climing ladders the size of a building or running with any speed. Imagine that!

They're both selfish, clueless, bland, vanilla, white trash and they're clearly SO MUCH in love with the idea that they're now celebrities that they don't appreciate how incredibly fucking stupid they look and sound. And it's this lack of self-awareness that repulses me as much as it does. The Beauty Queens are low drama, no-nonsense racers and that's the reason why they're beating the pants off the other two teams. I appreciate them NOT for being superhot (which they are), but for NOT being clueless dipshits like Charla and Mirna.

Before you judge us for being mysoginists and bullies, you have to actually watch these two dipshits in action. I'll see if I can't get a Youtube clip posted here to show you exactly what I'm talking about.

It wasn't that we hate women.
We just hate these two women. And one of them more than the other.

Seriously, if you knew them in real life, they'd be the two precise people that you'd go out of your way to avoid. Just the worst possible people, really.

Hmm, funny, I started out this entry to talk about how much fun I had over at Hendo's and I've ended up talking about how much I hate the Gruesome Twosome. I didn't even see that transition coming.

Ah well, believe me, watching "The Amazing Race" with Hendo is a blast.

Cheers,
COB